Monday, July 28, 2008

Right train, wrong ticket in Austria

I had the tickets from Frankfurt to Vienna and back in my hands. The person at the German Railways counter was unusually friendly. I noted this because I had previously interacted with the person at the German Consulate to get my visa. She was not really rude, but gave me the distinct impression that she could make a point by repeating - each time with an increased degree of menace in her voice. Coming back to the German Railways counter, I was rather pleased - the stereotype was broken, I had tickets in my hand to take me to Vienna.

Four days in Vienna were great. My digital camera did not run out of batteries, I did not lose the keys to my youth hostel room - and therefore escaped facing the gruff gentleman at the counter, I found out very quickly that water is a precious commodity and often is more expensive than beer - makes sense since water is not addictive it is merely essential for life.

The date of departure arrives and I am at the Vienna West Banhof (train station) well ahead of time to get back to Frankfurt. At the allotted time I go to my reserved sleeper. It is amazing how a French name can make a second-class three-tier sleeper sound attractive - it is called a couchette. Despite the experience of travelling by second-class three-tier sleepers in India (where a reservation is merely extra paperwork and it only means that you do not have have to bribe the train conductor to get on the train), I was surprised to find a family of six occupying my space. After talking to them in the few words of German that I knew, I was nearly at the stage where they were ready to show me their tickets (and hence reservation), a Dutch couple (thankfully fluent in English and German - not to mention Dutch) came along with the same sleeper number as I. Against my well honed intuition, I was surprised again. This after all was reserved in Germany. Such things don't happen in Germany. Soon enough the conductor came along and pointed out that I was reserved for a day later. I was no longer interested in finding out about the family of six.

So much for that friendly interaction with the German Railways person on landing in Frankfurt.

The conductor (this one apparently only handled couchettes) was kind enough to point me to another conductor. You see, I had to get on the train to catch a flight the following morning. Also, the not too rude person in the German consulate gave me a visa that expired on the date of my departure. With barely any time remaining for the train to depart, I ran down the platform like the TGV. On reaching the second-class seating (not couchette!) conductor I asked her what my options were. All she would say was that I go and ask the couchette conductor if there was any other sleeper for me. At this point, I really didn't care about a sleeper. I wanted to get on the train that was threatening to leave any minute. So I asked her again, "can I get on the train?" In reply, much like the person at the German consulate, I got the same line with a little bit more menace in the voice. The conductor didn't really have to add the menace bit, she was built like a linebacker, the long hair merely made her seem unpredictable. Instead of giving in, like I did at the consulate, I asked again. With intense incredulity, she pointed her finger down the platform (where the couchette conductor was) and asked me to go check with her (... mostly the same line). At this point, decided that even on a German train, I would follow my Indian instincts. I got on the train and started making my way to the couchettes. In hindsight this was a rather clever thing to do, as the couchette conductor had been making her way up the train from the inside. The paranoid in me was telling me that she was trying to avoid an interaction with me. I found that she did not have a space in the couchettes. So that brought me back my linebacker friend. With the first checkbox ticked-off, she was willing to go down the list and said it was okay for me to get on the train and find an unreserved space.

In this unreserved space I tried to think how the railway employees in different countries would handle this situation - of a person with a valid ticket but is trying to board the train on a different date:

In India:
The conductor smiles, asks for a bribe and puts you in a better seat.

In China:
They report you to the party and ask you to wait till the response arrives - which may happen within the next few months which you will spend on the platform.

In England:
They will get all worked up about not following the rules, ask you to fill a form in triplicate for the bureaucracy to figure out if you can get on the train. If you write really fast and if it is not tea-time, you may get on the train

In the US:
The conductor won't know what to do. Her manager won't know what to do. They'll give you a 1-800 number with numerous confusing options for you to navigate. If you make it through, you may get on the train.

In Italy:
The conductor will whine till the train starts moving and if he finds that you have not been deterred, he'll let you get on the train.

In France:
Faced with this unusual situation they will call a national strike. The trains won't run and so you can't miss it. If you are lucky the airlines will announce a strike as well and you won't miss the flight either.